The best intentions always seem to fail us. However, my writing hiatus is over. Well I never truly stop writing, that is the good thing. I just was not writing the stuff I wanted to. Time to play catch up. My last post was about AWP. Here are the best items I took away from that conference:
Marya Hornbacher nonfiction book Madness
Matthew Zapruder (Poet)
Panel Careers in Literary Arts that are not Teaching
Panel The Future in Book Publishing
As previously stated, I was working on a review of Hornbacher's book. However, after having a trusted friend tell me the ugly truth about my review, I realized its not always easy to break into new fields of writing. I was about to dig back in at it when I was offered a freelance job I could not pass up. A job is a job is a job. When someone wants to pay you to do what you like - write - then I suggest you take it. Freelance is tricky. There are too many times the artistic visions of the artist and client do not match up or at least need a "merging" period before a beautiful and agreeable project is produced. My client was a very hard working woman whose only problem was she did not have enough time for all her ambitions. A problem I run into on a daily basis. This is really a good problem covered under to many projects that are not completed. It was terribly difficult to get a hold of her making it difficult at times to communicate about our on-going projects together. When I did get a hold of her however, she was always willing to jump right in and work. Overall, it was a pleasant experience reminding me of the challenges that can come with writing.
My Hornbacher review is now back on the table competing with several other projects I always seem to have going on. However, I am not in a rush to finish it. Trust me, I want to get it up right away, but I feel my speedy ambitions may have been a part of the original downfall of the review. I think I will spend a day reading other people's longer reviews to get a better feel of what mine was missing before taking another pass at it.
Other projects include getting at least one of my fiction stories to a FINAL version so I can start sending it out. I feel pretty good at where I have it now. Awhile back I had one of my other trusted friends (who has had VERY GOOD success) read it. Her comments helped me look at the story with new eyes. She encouraged me to flush out areas where I relied on summary dialogue or general paraphrasing too much. She also reminded me of something my Fiction III professor often repeated - every move has a reason and exact intent behind it. This is difficult to think about when you sit down to write your first draft - the reasoning behind every word. I must learn how to not think of it that way or I may never write another word again because of the weight of thought behind it. The advice makes sense, yet, its hard to apply. I will have plenty of time to practice however, with all my revisions I need to make before turning in pages for my first thesis two session.
Which brings me to other summer project - writing more stories to finish my thesis by December. I want to graduate in December and be done with school. However, I have had small hope of having my thesis finished by this deadline. Nonetheless I have a plan. I need to write at least two stories this summer in order to have (possibly) the bare minimum of pages. If I can complete this I will at least have the two stories I need for my workshop class in the Fall and can focus on producing more to meet the page requirement. The good news is I finally thought up some new story ideas. With some amo in hand I told myself I will write one story in June and one in July. Today is June 24th and I have not yet written the first paragraph of the story. I am not worried. During the school year I wrote a story in a week. (I also had more time to think about it before hand). To my credit I have attempted at starting and adding lines to the story several times. It just has not taken off yet. Pray for me. More to come.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
AWP
I have finally rounded the corner of the AWP Conference and entered the homestretch. The past two nights I've felt a great surge of motivation, excitement, and ambition. Despite listening to the five panelist at "MFA Thesis to the First Novel" all tell me it took them eight years to get their books to print. I'm convinced, by a feeling of a coming break through and absorbed good writer vibes, mine will not take that long. The panels at the conference have been good for the most part. It is always overwhelming to receive the 200 plus page schedule and try to narrow my trip down to four panels a day. All too often I hear patrons leave panels greatly disappointed and let down because the amazing description and title failed to live up to their expectations. This happens for many reasons, the panelist focus on plugging themselves or their work too much, the topic is too narrowly or widely discussed, people abuse the Q&A segment to get on their own soapboxes, or the patron had too high or unrealistic expectations. Fortunately, I have not had that experience this year. Lots of the panels I have been interested in are focused on the current state of the publishing and literary world. I am graduating this winter and have been looking for a job since last September. It's slightly daunting and frustrating to listen to each panelist introduce themselves and tell a little bit about their history because I'm still not happy with my place in the literary world. Sure I am a writer and I am working on everyday making that my main occupation. However, when the bills roll in throughout the month I get anxious and rethink how many hours I should be working at my part time job. It's really a delicate balancing act I am still trying to navigate.
Today there is a panel on "Careers in the Literary Arts" that focuses on occupations that are open to people who do not want to teach. This is a panel I have to reassess my expectations. I must remind myself it is not the end of the rainbow with a pot of golden open positions waiting for my acceptance. More to come.
What I have appreciated most about this trip to AWP is as Dennis Johnson of Melville House Publishing says I am "getting to know my industry." So many times I have had conversations with people about lit magazines and editors etc and felt I was still far at the edges of this world. I rarely knew the "it" people that could make or break a writer's career. It seems like every industry has these "god" like figures with ambitious minions fighting each other off to get noticed by them for their big discovery. While I haven't met the woman or man that I think will make me a best seller (in reality that is really only myself) I have learned tons of names in the business and been able to get a snipit of their personality making them much easier to recall later. This I believe has been invaluable to me as an ambitious writer. Something I did not take into consideration before coming to AWP. Off to more panels.
Today there is a panel on "Careers in the Literary Arts" that focuses on occupations that are open to people who do not want to teach. This is a panel I have to reassess my expectations. I must remind myself it is not the end of the rainbow with a pot of golden open positions waiting for my acceptance. More to come.
What I have appreciated most about this trip to AWP is as Dennis Johnson of Melville House Publishing says I am "getting to know my industry." So many times I have had conversations with people about lit magazines and editors etc and felt I was still far at the edges of this world. I rarely knew the "it" people that could make or break a writer's career. It seems like every industry has these "god" like figures with ambitious minions fighting each other off to get noticed by them for their big discovery. While I haven't met the woman or man that I think will make me a best seller (in reality that is really only myself) I have learned tons of names in the business and been able to get a snipit of their personality making them much easier to recall later. This I believe has been invaluable to me as an ambitious writer. Something I did not take into consideration before coming to AWP. Off to more panels.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
"Ritual" by Heather Cox
Please visit Dark Sky Magazine to ready Heather Cox's poem "Ritual." Cox is one of the first Serif members to be published. http://www.darkskymagazine.com/ritual/
Also, appearing soon at Dark Sky Magazine, two of Alex York's, poetry genre lead for Serif, poems. More to come later.
Also, appearing soon at Dark Sky Magazine, two of Alex York's, poetry genre lead for Serif, poems. More to come later.
Kozol and Networking
For my Cultural Capital class I read Shame of the Nation, by Jonathan Kozol. The book details the widening gap in the different types of education being received by white children and minority children using poignant stories and statistics over the last thirty plus years. Immediately, I was uncomfortable with how the language of the book was very black and white. That is to say, Kozol spoke of race aggressively, without qualifiers, and honestly from page one to page three hundred and fifteen. This was a style of writing I had not come across in any of my academic texts. I was uncomfortable not because he talked about race but because he did it without trying to "sugar coat" his position or the true position of the educational situation for majority of minority children. Thus, I think my uncomfortablenesses was something Kozol was hoping to achieve. Something I believe he was hoping would sit badly with me enough to cause me to react. In this, way I believe the book is successful because I did find I was asking myself afterwards what can I do to change this reality in America. A reality that lets elementary children go to schools infested with rats, high school students forced in to vocational classes and education paths because a lack of open and over crowded classes, and misappropriated state funding that does not work on a need basis. Our class was assigned to read this book in preparation of Roosevelt University's One book One University event. Our first class back after spring break, we attend this event in which Kozol spoke to a large group that filled the 2nd floor lounge. Kozol used many stories and statistics from his book in his lecture. However, I found he predominantly used the stories to highlight points in this lecture and tended to add on many comic asides to entice a laugh from his audience. I think I would have liked to hear him speak more to the current state of affairs since his book was published in 2005 and what changes if any he saw happening under the new President. This "what now" "next step" element was not a large enough component of his argument. Which I think would be O.K. if he only wanted to create awareness but I do not think that is his primary goal. He did speak of some solutions that worked in the past, such as busing, and what leader in education thought needed to happen in order for change to occur. Another movement is thought to be the answer to ignite the momentum behind the original verdict of the Brown vs Board of Education case. If that is true, the awareness Kozol does succeed in raising plays an important role in educating those may be interested in devoting their time to such a movement. His best piece of advice was in answer to a woman's question of how everyday people can help dissolve the apartheid education in America. Kozol says to hold Obama accountable. Something I think we as a nation may be doing already too prematurely on his overall performance a year after his Presidential victory.
Now the fun part of the story. After the lecture Kozol stayed and refused to leave, though threat of missing his plane by the event coordinator was ever present, until he signed every last student or attendees book that waited in line. I was toward the back of the line and when I reached him I happen to mention I was a writer. His first question - Who is your favorite poet? This is where I cursed myself for not reading the poetry anthology my good friend gave me for Christmas and so graciously highlighted all the major poets and poems any good writer should know. I dodged the question by saying I am actually a fiction writer and unfortunately do not read enough poetry because of it. He then told me to hang out a bit we should compare notes when he was done. I was very excited at his very unexpected request. Because contrary to the belief that I do not like to network, because I do and want to, I am just very bad at networking. So to have a very accomplished writer and scholar ask to compare notes with me I was besides myself. Because he was in a great rush the meeting was brief and it was me mainly walking him to his airport car out front. However, in that short amount of time we exchanged contact information, shared our favorite writers, (he like Faulkner and Graham Greene), and he told me it was a shame I did not live in the Cambridge area because he had a house a bunch of writer types liked to hang out at. Damn! I was hoping he may have had a similar house in Chicago since he made so many friends and contacts all over the nation but he did not. So with a small hug, travel safe wishes, and promises to be in touch I ended my night on cloud nine.
That was one of the few nights I was able to say I say I successfully networked with a fellow writer and scholar of the arts. Though he may write about different things than I, we both shared a love of literature and the power of words.
Now the fun part of the story. After the lecture Kozol stayed and refused to leave, though threat of missing his plane by the event coordinator was ever present, until he signed every last student or attendees book that waited in line. I was toward the back of the line and when I reached him I happen to mention I was a writer. His first question - Who is your favorite poet? This is where I cursed myself for not reading the poetry anthology my good friend gave me for Christmas and so graciously highlighted all the major poets and poems any good writer should know. I dodged the question by saying I am actually a fiction writer and unfortunately do not read enough poetry because of it. He then told me to hang out a bit we should compare notes when he was done. I was very excited at his very unexpected request. Because contrary to the belief that I do not like to network, because I do and want to, I am just very bad at networking. So to have a very accomplished writer and scholar ask to compare notes with me I was besides myself. Because he was in a great rush the meeting was brief and it was me mainly walking him to his airport car out front. However, in that short amount of time we exchanged contact information, shared our favorite writers, (he like Faulkner and Graham Greene), and he told me it was a shame I did not live in the Cambridge area because he had a house a bunch of writer types liked to hang out at. Damn! I was hoping he may have had a similar house in Chicago since he made so many friends and contacts all over the nation but he did not. So with a small hug, travel safe wishes, and promises to be in touch I ended my night on cloud nine.
That was one of the few nights I was able to say I say I successfully networked with a fellow writer and scholar of the arts. Though he may write about different things than I, we both shared a love of literature and the power of words.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Inspiration and Celebration
February was rough. The job that pays the bills didn't seem to let up and I barely caught any breaks. However, that did not mean I didn't do lots of writing and re-writing, in my head mostly, but that should count on some level. And in reality it did. When I sat down to write my next story the words came very easily. I read CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, by George Saunders in preparation for writing this story. It was suggested to me by my first thesis adviser when I told him my premise for the story. However, I am approaching my story from a complete different angel than Saunders does with his stories in the book. Yet, his stories helped me seriously consider the setting and atmosphere in which my story would take place. I think this influence might help some of the realities ring more true without having to explicitly state them. I will admit it has been one of the most easy stories to write that has no personal parallel to anything in my own life. That accomplishment in and of itself was something I never thought I would get too in any near future. Though I now feel slight anxiety because I do not have a complete story idea after I finish this story. The one I am working on now I have been thinking about since last September. I like to mull it over for awhile.
I do however, have what I think can be a short short completely out of my style. Lately, going over the details of that possible short short keep me up at night. Ironically, it was something I wrote in bed by the light of my phone on a night other anxieties were keeping me up. I still sleep more than any person might at my age, no worries. Thus, I feel compelled to do something with the story, yet, it's not a piece I think will fit into my thesis. Not that that is a bad thing, only that I promised myself to stay focused. But who am I to not to let inspiration lead my astray when so many other times inspiration leaves me high and dry. More to come on that.
Lastly, the celebration news. Serif, my submission group has arrived! The past couple meetings have been more community building and writing focused. Not specifically submission focused but more all the things on the path to submitting. I have to thank all my friends for actively participating in the group despite their busy schedule. That may be as simple as coming to all the meeting and/or participating on the online forums set up. I truly appreciate your support and throw many good vibe wishes your way for your submission. But to the point - Heather Cox (http://adisheveledsoul.blogspot.com/2010/03/howl.html) has received an acceptance letter for her poem "Ritual" at Dark Sky Magazine!(http://www.darkskymagazine.com/). Heather is probably the most active of all Serif members and her enthusiasm has rewarded her. I am very proud and tickled. It reminds me why I created the group and gives me hope that it will continue to exist after I graduate. Congrats, Heather.
I do however, have what I think can be a short short completely out of my style. Lately, going over the details of that possible short short keep me up at night. Ironically, it was something I wrote in bed by the light of my phone on a night other anxieties were keeping me up. I still sleep more than any person might at my age, no worries. Thus, I feel compelled to do something with the story, yet, it's not a piece I think will fit into my thesis. Not that that is a bad thing, only that I promised myself to stay focused. But who am I to not to let inspiration lead my astray when so many other times inspiration leaves me high and dry. More to come on that.
Lastly, the celebration news. Serif, my submission group has arrived! The past couple meetings have been more community building and writing focused. Not specifically submission focused but more all the things on the path to submitting. I have to thank all my friends for actively participating in the group despite their busy schedule. That may be as simple as coming to all the meeting and/or participating on the online forums set up. I truly appreciate your support and throw many good vibe wishes your way for your submission. But to the point - Heather Cox (http://adisheveledsoul.blogspot.com/2010/03/howl.html) has received an acceptance letter for her poem "Ritual" at Dark Sky Magazine!(http://www.darkskymagazine.com/). Heather is probably the most active of all Serif members and her enthusiasm has rewarded her. I am very proud and tickled. It reminds me why I created the group and gives me hope that it will continue to exist after I graduate. Congrats, Heather.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Serif Genre Mtgs and First Workshop
The first genre meetings for Serif were Monday and Tuesday and they went well. The fiction meeting started off slow due to a simultaneous meeting but overall it ended on a high note. There was lots of good discussion and people seems interested and invested in getting their ducks in a row to submit. The one drawback was we ended the meeting without definite magazines picked out to submit to. I understand this is a process that may require a little more time than one hour on a Monday night, but I want to keep everyone focused and committed to the end goal. Thus, part of that is to have a clear idea of where one is submitting to and the requirements of that magazine. But I did encourage active research all this week and a decision by early next week. It is not that I want them to rush into something being unsure, but I want to try and keep them on track and serious about exposing their work to the world. I have good feelings overall.
The poetry meeting, which I was sorry I could not attend even though I REALLY wanted to seemed to go very well. I heard very good feedback from its participants and that group seems very full throttle. I might ask for them to switch their meeting time so I can join because I really want to try and resubmit the poems that were just recently rejected :). My favorite thing about the meeting was I heard Alex, my poetry genre lead, brought everyone envelopes. I love it. That is a fantastic way to subtly get the message out there that we need to submit more. They decided to pick one general magazine for all to try and submit too as well as their own individual choices. I'm a little envious sure, but poetry seems to be an easier genre to turn around and submit elsewhere if rejected. I say this only based on the vast size difference between one typical short story and one typical poem.
My first workshop was Monday night and I was excited to get feedback. The story I submitted was unlike any other story I've tried to write. For one it had nudity in it. [dramatic pause] It was about a woman getting a massage. [sigh of disappointment] However, I used words like panties, which I despise and had to listen to people talk about nude this nude that all workshop. What did I expect right? I'm not a prude, but I don't often discuss these things with 12 acquaintances either. Long story short I was slight giddy and tried not to giggle like a child when people were talking. The general comments concerning my story were expected. I already mapped out some of the changes needed in the draft and nodded along as people pointed them out. Majority of the class read my main character as sympathetic. This was surprising to my professor. He read her as despicable. Though I will admit this was not my original intent.
His take on my story was very interesting and different from what I usually go for in a story. Although I do not think it will make me change my story around to make his reading of it the dominant one, I dig that he is able to go there with what I gave him. The one thing he did say that I am not sure I agree with completely is his take on associative/memory driven writing. His stance is many have tried to do this over the years and it never works out great. Then my question to him would be, how then does one write in that style well? My classmate assumes his answer is not to write in that style at all. I will soon find out in our one-on-one conference next Monday. And if he is reading my blog I guess he has a few more days to think it over. Alice Munro utilizes this style in many of her story. I have often been referenced to her after someone reads one of my stories. As far as I can tell she is a very successful writer.
His comment I think rather stems from his specific taste in writing. This is more or less something that comes through very clear in many of his class comments and story selections. I don't like to pigeon hold anyone into a category or type but George Saundars was his teacher and he mentioned liking Kurt Vonnegut. I am not arguing it is necessarily a bad thing. His taste are very different from everyone in the class. Thus, he is essentially opening our eyes to other options and giving us techniques we may not have otherwise explored to use in our own stories. However, it is yet to be determined if he will let his taste dictate his workshop suggestions and comments. My story is rough and still able to be bent down any avenue of style, theme, and plot change. I loved his take on my story. The rest is TBD.
The poetry meeting, which I was sorry I could not attend even though I REALLY wanted to seemed to go very well. I heard very good feedback from its participants and that group seems very full throttle. I might ask for them to switch their meeting time so I can join because I really want to try and resubmit the poems that were just recently rejected :). My favorite thing about the meeting was I heard Alex, my poetry genre lead, brought everyone envelopes. I love it. That is a fantastic way to subtly get the message out there that we need to submit more. They decided to pick one general magazine for all to try and submit too as well as their own individual choices. I'm a little envious sure, but poetry seems to be an easier genre to turn around and submit elsewhere if rejected. I say this only based on the vast size difference between one typical short story and one typical poem.
My first workshop was Monday night and I was excited to get feedback. The story I submitted was unlike any other story I've tried to write. For one it had nudity in it. [dramatic pause] It was about a woman getting a massage. [sigh of disappointment] However, I used words like panties, which I despise and had to listen to people talk about nude this nude that all workshop. What did I expect right? I'm not a prude, but I don't often discuss these things with 12 acquaintances either. Long story short I was slight giddy and tried not to giggle like a child when people were talking. The general comments concerning my story were expected. I already mapped out some of the changes needed in the draft and nodded along as people pointed them out. Majority of the class read my main character as sympathetic. This was surprising to my professor. He read her as despicable. Though I will admit this was not my original intent.
His take on my story was very interesting and different from what I usually go for in a story. Although I do not think it will make me change my story around to make his reading of it the dominant one, I dig that he is able to go there with what I gave him. The one thing he did say that I am not sure I agree with completely is his take on associative/memory driven writing. His stance is many have tried to do this over the years and it never works out great. Then my question to him would be, how then does one write in that style well? My classmate assumes his answer is not to write in that style at all. I will soon find out in our one-on-one conference next Monday. And if he is reading my blog I guess he has a few more days to think it over. Alice Munro utilizes this style in many of her story. I have often been referenced to her after someone reads one of my stories. As far as I can tell she is a very successful writer.
His comment I think rather stems from his specific taste in writing. This is more or less something that comes through very clear in many of his class comments and story selections. I don't like to pigeon hold anyone into a category or type but George Saundars was his teacher and he mentioned liking Kurt Vonnegut. I am not arguing it is necessarily a bad thing. His taste are very different from everyone in the class. Thus, he is essentially opening our eyes to other options and giving us techniques we may not have otherwise explored to use in our own stories. However, it is yet to be determined if he will let his taste dictate his workshop suggestions and comments. My story is rough and still able to be bent down any avenue of style, theme, and plot change. I loved his take on my story. The rest is TBD.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
First Story Results
The week was rough. My goals were high. The move went well but nothing has quite found it's proper place yet. A small detail that made finishing my story and keeping up with my word count difficult. It is hard to concentrate on what a character is going to do next when there is a mess waiting to be dealt with at the end of one's desk. The results of my 500 daily word count were fair/good. I was more or less about 250 words behind after the first two days. But I did make a honest attempt each day to sit down and write something even when completely uninspired. I did beat myself up over it a few times too. I said self, this is what you do, you are a writer. 500 words a day should be a small afternoon snack. I blame my type A tendencies. I often want to write scenes in order and over think what perfect word I need for a line of dialog. This time I tried to break away from those habits. I often forced myself in order to make my word count. Needless to say the hardest task about writing on such a short deadline was the climax scene and the ending. Those two areas I cannot promise won't read slightly flat in this first draft. Plus, I also worried about turning in a "polished" draft. Thank goodness for my cousin in LA who proofed my story only a few hours before it was due.
Needless to say, I liked the 500 words a day goal. With the added deadline it really pushed me to do my writing. It will also hopefully in the future help me get use to writing fast. I am going to try and keep that goal going. To assist me in that endeavor I have opted out of getting cable in my new apartment. Although I did sign up for Netflixs. I have to have something for those rainy unmotivated days. But I think this will be a good decision in the end. More writing will be done as well as more reading. Lastly, my first issue of the New Yorker came today. I probably would never seek out a subscription to this magazine on my own. The magazine actually mailed me a unbelievable deal for a two year subscription that was foolish to pass up. Thus, I now have my first literary magazine subscription. I am feeling very writerish (if that is a word). However, I've discovered its just as addicting as all the gossip magazines. I want another one. I can't decide however, if I should get another literary subscription or an industry subscription like Poets and Writers or Writer's Digest. Things to sleep on.
Needless to say, I liked the 500 words a day goal. With the added deadline it really pushed me to do my writing. It will also hopefully in the future help me get use to writing fast. I am going to try and keep that goal going. To assist me in that endeavor I have opted out of getting cable in my new apartment. Although I did sign up for Netflixs. I have to have something for those rainy unmotivated days. But I think this will be a good decision in the end. More writing will be done as well as more reading. Lastly, my first issue of the New Yorker came today. I probably would never seek out a subscription to this magazine on my own. The magazine actually mailed me a unbelievable deal for a two year subscription that was foolish to pass up. Thus, I now have my first literary magazine subscription. I am feeling very writerish (if that is a word). However, I've discovered its just as addicting as all the gossip magazines. I want another one. I can't decide however, if I should get another literary subscription or an industry subscription like Poets and Writers or Writer's Digest. Things to sleep on.
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